So it's the 4th day into the New Year and let me guess, you are back in work with a salad for lunch and a cup of green tea beside you trying to get rid of the Christmas belly! It is never nice to go back to work after a log break but it is Monday which means it is a fresh new start and you still have plenty of time to make those all important New Years resolutions! Do you believe in making New Years resolutions? I 100% do! I think they give us all a chance to change our lifestyles for the better, achieve what we dream about achieving and having some new adventures! The problem with New Year resolutions is that people (including myself), look back on their past year and tend to focus on the negatives, like what they did not achieve for example, they did not get a promotion, or they did not finish a course or they did not lose weight. We focus too much on what we didn't do instead of what we did achieve over the year. We are very harsh on ourselves and feel that we have to compensate, which often leads to us setting resolutions for ourselves that are not achievable. Instead of being realistic we make about 20 different resolutions, all of which require a lot of attention and dedication which means that we can not keep any of them, we get fed up of the 'hard work' involved in keeping all of them and just give up on them all! Sound familiar? Every Year without fail I tell myself I am going to lose weight, that I am going to workout every day, eat only salads and fruit and that by next Christmas I will be at least 3 stone lighter! None of that is impossible but I set myself these goals and my problem is is that I want all of those things now, that working for it and waiting seems impossible, it puts me off even starting! For the next 12 months I struggle with my weight losing five pound here, putting on 7 here, which ends up with me crying in the changing rooms in Liffey Valley while trying on Christmas clothes. Then I swear to myself that the next year will be different and so on. The problem is that we either focus way too much on the past and/ or way too much in the future, we don't spend enough time enjoying the present. We don't know what is going to happen from one minute to the next never mind from one year to the next, so why put ourselves under huge amounts of pressure? This year, I decided to look back on the past year and learn from it. I have decided that instead of making huge resolutions to make small realistic ones for myself for the foreseeable future. These goals include things that I can work on everyday without taking up too much time. If you set yourself any resolutions or goals they should be ones that you will benefit from, that will be the making of you and that by the end of 2016 you will feel proud of yourself for keeping them. This year I am looking at New Year's resolutions a little bit differently. Instead of looking at them like goals, like something I must achieve, they are simply guidelines. As I said earlier, we don't know what the future holds, we don't know where the next 12 months will take us, that is the beauty of life. If we set ourselves high and strict goals then we will either be so focused on them that we will ignore what is going on around us or we will go with the path that life takes us and then resent the year because we couldn't achieve what we set out to achieve! My new Year's "Guidelines" for this year include: 1. Changing my lifestyle and becoming more fit and healthy 2. Cutting down on alcohol and socializing through the cinema, exercise, dinner dates, etc. 3. Getting back on my feet through working and blogging more 4. Maintaining a positive mindset, learning how to cope with anxiety and my personality disorder better but not becoming obsessed with it and learning how to pick myself up after a bad day These are some of the guidelines I have set for myself among some other ones. these guidelines, although the result is real and very important to me, I am not going to become obsessed with the overall results of how these resolutions turn out. I think many people in society especially people who suffer with mental health issues, focus and become almost obsessive with their overall goal. They want quick fixes, they want to see the results now because more than anything the thought of letting yourself down and going through pain will simply hurt too much. It sounds extremely silly however I know this because this is exactly what happens to me. I am afraid of letting myself down because 9 times out of 10 I let self doubt take over and win which puts a stop to me achieving what I want to achieve. It isn't because I am not able to accomplish all I set out to do, it is because my self doubt creeps back in. This year, the one thing I am determined about is that it is going to be my year. I don't mean that I am going to win the lotto(although I wouldn't say no!) anything like that, Rome wasn't built in a day! What I mean by my year is that with a little help from fate, I am going to determine the year I will have. It is going to be a good year, with some ups and downs, but at the end of it I will be a stronger and better person for it. I am determined to keep being my own best friend, to keep listening to myself and doing what is best for me. I'm going to push myself little bit each day to gain back my strength, to get back to the way I was. No more tears, no more unnecessary anxiety or stress and no more over-analyzing things, it is time for a change but I have to remember to take each day as it comes, not to put pressure on myself . So enough about my New Year's resolution's, now it is your turn to decide on your resolutions, to determine what kind of year you want to have. Remember though, no matter what way you see the year turning out, there will be both ups and downs but it is how you deal with the downs that matter, they will make you stronger. My main for the New Year is to just let things happen, don't feel that need to plan out every single day, life is full of surprises so let them happen and enjoy them. If you fall off track with your resolutions don't eat yourself up about it, we are all human, we are allowed mistakes, tomorrow is a new day get back on track then. Best of luck setting out your resolutions and remember make it YOUR year! Love, Em X
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This page is to keep you all up to date on where I am on my journey, what I am up to and general chat! Archives
April 2018
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