Hi everyone and happy Monday! This morning started as every morning does, I wake up, reach for my phone and have a look on Instagram. Except this morning was slightly different as my Instagram feed was full of angry and upset bloggers / influencers /people in the public eye, what ever you want to call these people. Those of you who haven't a clue what I am talking about, don't worry I am trying to make sense of it in my own head as some of the bloggers have been a little bit cryptic as to why they are so angry, well that was up until now. Since the start of this year it seems that alot of people have had enough of Irish bloggers and influencers. It seems people feel like these people in the public eye portray a perfect and fabulous lifestyle, which some people feel this 'false' portrayal puts a lot of pressure on 'normal' people to have a perfect life. Let's clear up one thing first, no one has 'the perfect life' because 'the perfect life' does not exist. Everyone at one stage in their life is going to face problems and dark times, whether that is financially, career wise, with family and friends, relationships illnesses, weight problems etc., the list goes on. No one is immune to all of these problems, not even some of the A list celebrities that we see on the red carpet in Hollywood because let's face it, if they were perfect would cut throat journalists of the world be watching their every move like a hawk eagerly awaiting for something to happen so that they can cover it first? No they wouldn't!! That's another problem, for some reason we like to see people fail or step out of line, we like the gossip and the giggling of other's misfortunes to some degree, you can deny it all you want,but deep down we all know we are somewhat guilty of that. We always like to point out the bad things, for instance if a celebrity has put on weight, if a blogger's latest picture on Instagram and Facebook was too photo-shopped, if a presenter sounded funny, it all sounds petty and ridiculous, that's because it is and more importantly it's wrong, so why do we continue to do it? In my opinion I think many do it out of fighting their own insecurities, out of feeling like they aren't enough, that they aren't thin enough, aren't curvy enough, aren't pretty enough and lastly out of the pressure that social media can put on people to get the 'perfect' selfie, to portray your 'best self' to the world. Although I have felt all of the above and still do quite often, it still does not make it right to set up accounts on social media to essentially troll people and encourage people to hate them. It seems that people think by bashing other people and criticizing others that they will feel better about themselves. News flash, no matter how much you give out about someone or try to embarrass them you still won't feel better, the only thing you are doing is making that person feel worse about themselves and promoting bullying, is that what you really want? The only person who can change how you feel is YOU, and no amount of hate will ever change that. With that said, do I understand the frustration that people have regarding bloggers and influencers, absolutely! As many of you already know, I sort of fell into following bloggers when I was really depressed a few years back. I was so down and so lost, that I looked to bloggers for inspiration on what to wear and what way to do my makeup which helped me to slowly get back on my feet. I had absolutely zero confidence, however by following these blogs, I rediscovered my love and passion for all things beauty and fashion related. I was able to express myself through my clothes which was something that really helped release some of my anxiety and depression. That being said, in the last 12 months, the blogging world has definitely changed and you can't look at any of the bloggers posts without seeing #sp, #ad and/ or paid partnership with ... , it's very frustrating especially for people like me who started following these people due to their honesty and were essentially inspired by them to start my own blog. I am not stupid, and of course I have always seen the business side to it, but at the end of the day, it seems that some bloggers have totally forgotten why they originally started their blogs and are getting lost in the sponsorship end of it all. With that said, I think we need to stop just focusing on the duty of the bloggers and influencers to be honest with their followers, as a lot of what is wrong with this particular industry at the minute is the companies who are paying these people in the public eye to promote their brands. Of course paid sponsorship has always happened, however people are now more savvy and in a world where lying has become a natural thing even from some people in positions of power, I feel that many people originally liked bloggers and turned to them for advice as they were honest and put their true opinions out there. However now it seems that one day they are saying how all they do is eat takeaways and then the next they have a paid sponsorship with a fitness brand or a health brand, and that is why so many people are frustrated, however as I have mentioned we all need to remember it is the responsibility of the companies too to pick bloggers and influencers who are true to their brand and stand for what the brand stands for, not just picking someone due to their following. At the end of the day, these influencers need to make a living some how and I totally get that but pick a deal with a brand that you truly believe in, not only because it pays the bills. I know that is easy to say as I don't rely on my blog to pay the rent, however I do bare it all online and that is what is so annoying. I haven't a huge following and for a long time I thought about pushing blogging to one side because I felt I couldn't compete with these huge blogs and I have also tried many a time to change my blog to be like the big blogs, but it didn't work because at the end of the day it wasn't me. This is me. What I have written lately and what I have planned for the future is and will be all true to me, to who I am and what I believe in. Yes it is frustrating that I put a lot of work into the blog and into something like the event and it was extremely hard to get many of the bloggers support or involved, bar the lovely Sarah's Struggle to Slim and of course the fabulous raffle prize from Pippa O' Connor, however at the end of the day I am happy with my blog and where I am at now because not only do I love writing I also love to help people, and from the feedback I get from you guys I do help at least some of you, so in my eyes I am right on track with where I want to be. Despite the frustration however, it is still not nice to bash people in public and even talk about their marriages, children, relationships etc., because at the end of the day if you are acting out like that, why should people put themselves out there for the world to see? Would you like it if someone tried to tear your marriage/ relationship apart on social media? I didn't think so. Last year I held my first charity event for Pieta House because at the end of the day I want to help people who have been in the same/ similar position as I have been in, so that would be my advice for the bloggers and influencers who are now caught between a rock and a hard place. By all means try to stop bullying but do it in a way that it helps others and not just the blogging world. Get involved with a charity in a way where you are helping those who follow you not because you are being paid for it but because you are passionate about it, because trust me, there is no better feeling in the world than helping others and doing something just because you want to. It can be so easy to lose yourself and to forget why you started something, so go back to your first ever blog post. Yes it will be cringy but read it and in that you will see why you started this journey and more so why people started following you. On the other hand, we as readers and followers need to remember that these bloggers and influencers are all still human!! They may be separated by a screen and a filter at times but they are still very much real and have real feelings. There is no point in slating them and bad mouthing them as you are just as bad, if not worse, than them for doing so. The blogging and influencing industry is a modern day version to what happened years ago with actors and actresses. Although it is relatively new, the concept is quite old school, it just is more prominent in today's world due to social media. Although we seem to be surrounded by it, we are still trying to adapt and adjust to it. So instead of giving out and blaming each side, let's try to work together, learn together and find a happy medium together! So that is it for now, something quite different than usual but I felt I wouldn't be doing what I set out to do if I just watched it all happen without saying anything. Just remember, we are all human, we all have feelings. Next time you go to write something, stop and think " would I like it if anyone said that to me?" Love as always, Em X
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April 2018
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