Hello March!! Is it just me, or did February fly in? It's so hard to believe that today is the first day of a brand new month, which means that it is a brand new fresh start. I love the month of March. It's when the nights start to brighten up, the days start to feel that bit longer, the weather starts to get better (well it's Irish weather so who knows what it's going to do!) and spring is definitely in full swing. Not only is it 1st of March, it is also the first day of Lent. Traditionally the 1st day of Lent represents the start of a 40 day period of penitence and fasting. Since I was a little girl in school, I remember having to pick one thing you had to give up for these (what would seem like a very long) 40 days. To be honest, I don't think it was until I was about 8 or 9 years of age that I realised why I was actually giving up some of my favourite treats for a few weeks. It has since then become a 'tradition' for me to 'give up' things during lent. Although I did eventually know why I was giving up cakes, chocolate etc., I still obeyed by my own little 'rules' that I developed over the years. these rules included the following: you had a 'day off' from Lent on St. Patrick's day, on birthdays and if you weren't feeling well, giving up chocolate did not mean you couldn't eat cakes and doughnuts with little bits of chocolate on them and it was ok to give up things that you didn't even like, that still counted! These rules I (shamefully) carried with me until the age of 18! However as the years have gone by, I haven't necessarily been strict when it comes to Lent. As time goes on and you leave school, it is so easy to fall out of these traditions that you carried on for as long as you can remember. To be honest, although I knew that Lent was starting, it totally slipped my mind that this marked the start of a fasting period, instead it helped me to work out when Easter is this year. It wasn't until last Sunday morning when I was at mass with the choir, that Fr. Des said something that changed my opinion on Lent. He spoke about how many people give up things for lent, how others take up exercise or a hobby. He also spoke about how people do things for others by raising money for charity or helping people who are in need of help. However it was the way he spoke about the season of Spring, how he spoke so fondly about the daffodils growing on the side of the roads, that really struck me. Something so simple as flowers growing and the season changing brought so much happiness and joy to this person, it was amazing, something which sadly many of us take for granted. The next two days I had Mark's heart broke as I pointed out the daffodils growing everywhere we went. I hadn't noticed them anywhere before Sunday's mass, however after it I saw them everywhere I went. The message in this post isn't to harp on about religion, it isn't for everyone and that's ok, however that doesn't mean that we each can't set ourselves a challenge or make a promise to ourselves for the next 40 days. It doesn't have to be giving up something it can be something as simple as thinking of a positive thing out of each day that you experienced or reaching out to a friend that you haven't spoken to in a while. Whatever you feel will benefit you, your life and your journey at the moment is the perfect choice for you, however be mindful not to take on too much. For me, I am setting myself a few small tasks, nothing major as I know I have a few busy months ahead, these are things that I should be able to do on a day to day basis without taking on too much. These are my tasks for the next 40 days: 1. Mind, Body and Soul: Continue to eat healthy and exercise regularly 2. Try to work on my sensitivity: This is something which I will always have to always work on, however I know my triggers and what sets me off more than others, so over the next while I will work on focusing on the bigger picture, for example if someone in work says something that I find upsetting or as if it is directed at my personally, I will take a few moments before I talk back, take a deep breathe, look at the situation, did the person mean it? Am I close to this person? Does this really affect me? Why does it? I will look at my reaction more so than just fighting back, if someone is going to purposely say something negative then do they really need to be in my life? 3. Be thankful and Grateful: This one is based on the daffodils!! Each day I am going to note one thing I am grateful and thankful for. It could be my family, friends, my job or even coffee! On a serious note, it will be something that I feel really lucky and blessed to have, something I feel I may have taken for granted before hand. This is something I will post on social media for the next 40 days, leading to a few blog posts possibly, so stay tuned! Although religion and the church is not for everyone, it doesn't mean that you can't take this opportunity to work on things in your life or focus on something specific for the next few weeks. So, a slightly different post than usual but I hope it inspired you to start a fresh, stay focused and stay positive. Life is a beautiful thing, something we are all very lucky to experience, so let's take full advantage of it and not take it for granted. Love as always, Em xxx
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Hi Everyone, Well it's been a long time since I have written a blog post, before Christmas was the last time to be exact! It's a bit too late (just a little bit!) to say Happy new Year so instead, I hope you are all well and that 2017 has been good to you all so far! So where have I been hiding and what's been going on? My New Year's resolution was to get back to myself, and that's exactly what I have been doing since Christmas, but what does that actually mean? Last year, as you all know was a big year for me. I got accepted on a CE Sheme which mean't I could get back into work. As a result, I found a job I absolutely love doing, that I am good at and that has helped build my confidence back up. It wasn't easy at first, I was terrified getting the bus into work, I couldn't give a tour without having a panic attack and I wasn't sleeping due to stress and worry around the job. To top things off, I wasn't in the museum long when I was put onto a course, which was a lot for me, going from not working to study and work. I never thought I was going to stick it out, I really wanted to give up, but that would have been going backwards, and I was not prepared to do that. One month later my life changed again as Mark asked me to marry him, within a week we had (almost) everything picked out and booked, it was a whirlwind but I wouldn't change it for the world. As the year went on, I had more good days than bad days, I was able to recognize when my mood was low and I knew exactly what I needed to do to prevent it from escalating into something bigger. During the summer I conquered more fears and went to concerts were the crowds would usually send me running, but I was in control and didn't let anything stop me. As the year came to a close, I finally got to do something that my illness had prevented be to do previously, which was to travel. Myself and Karma went to the land of Brussels to visit Emma, not to mention where chocolate and smurfs are both from. A week later, myself and Mark went to Amsterdam which rounded off what was overall a life changing year. Yes there were difficult times and times were my depression and anxiety were at a high but I got through it and that's all that matters. Since last November, my foot hasn't lifted from the pedal. I can honestly say, I haven't had five minutes to myself since the end of last year has started. This year has sort of started the same as last year, just on a much larger scale. I have been offered a new job, one which since I started the museum I knew I would love. I also got accepted as a volunteer Tour Guide for the New Clondalkin Round Tower Visitor Centre and I am already half way through the course for it. At the start of the year I promised myself that I would go back to weight watchers ( for the last time), lose weight and exercise more. This is something which I threw myself into and I'm so happy that I did. To top things off wedding preparations are well under way and the countdown is officially on. Although I am extremely busy, things are going really well, and I finally feel like I am back to who I used to be almost five years ago. I have rediscovered my love for swimming and Zumba, although I've only managed to go to two Zumba classes, I have remembered how much I love dancing and most importantly how happy it makes me. I have also rediscovered something which I thought was forever gone, and that's my confidence. Although losing weight and getting fit plays a big part in this, I am more confident in myself mentally. I no longer feel like my personality is something I should be ashamed of or change, in fact recently I have realised that I am lucky to have it! It is a blessing, it's who I am and most of all it makes me unique, it would be boring if everyone acted and felt the same, so why try to change who you are? I'm not saying my confidence level is 10 out of 10, at the moment it's at a 5, which is five times more than it was this time last year. I still have down days and days, like today, where I am anxious, but I just look at how far I have come since this time last year, and it makes me feel happy, proud and excited to see where I will be this time next year. So that's what I've been up to, I promise not to stay too quiet in the upcoming weeks and as always, I hope you are all doing ok. Remember, today might not be the day you achieve your goals, but it can be the day you decide to start to work towards them. Love as always, Em xxx |
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This page is to keep you all up to date on where I am on my journey, what I am up to and general chat! Archives
April 2018
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