Hi Everyone and happy Wednesday! I hope your week is going well, for most of you it is a short week so the weekend is very close, however for the rest of us it's a normal week of work ahead, but sure look the Easter bunny is nearly here! We can stuff our faces in chocolate soon! For many people, the long weekend also means nights out, house parties and a lot of drink! Although this isn't necessarily a bad thing, I will be swapping the glasses of wine for bottles of WKD! If you have been following the blog for a while, you will know that I am on anti- depressants and have been for about 4, almost 5 years. Although I have been on my current tablet (the name of which I can never ever remember!) for over a year now, I have been on many different ones since I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. One of the reasons why my medication has changed over the years is because finding the correct medication for each individual is a very long and difficult process. In can take weeks even months for your body to adjust to medication, therefore it takes just as long, if not a little bit longer, to see the true effects of the tablets. If one doesn't work then you move on to the next one ( which is all recommended by your GP) and continue the elimination process. However the one thing that all anti-depressants have in common is that you are not to drink alcohol while on the medication, which many of you know, is something I struggle with greatly. This sounds like I have a drinking problem, like I can't function without one, that is definitely not the case. However on a Saturday night, I like to meet with friends and family, head to boomers, have a few drinks and dance the feet off myself. It's not everyone's cup of tea, and that's ok but it is how I like to relax. However, as you may have guessed, often it isn't just a few drinks, something (like many 23 year olds) I have one or two too many and that's when the fun stops. While on the various medications, I have had nights where I was drinking and I was ok afterwards, but then I have also had nights that I get extremely drunk , black out and for days after I am extremely anxious. Of course sometimes it is my own fault because I have drank way too much however about 7 times out of 10, I have barely drank and these seem to be when I am effected the most and it is the worst feeling in the world. I's like something just comes over me, I become extremely drunk and almost unable to function. The next morning is always the worst because I can never remember anything which is terrifying. Although this isn't just a recent thing, it used to happen once every 4 night's out. However recently, it is happening almost every time I drink especially when I drink wine, prosecco, lots of cocktails etc. I wouldn't necessarily drink bottles of wine, some nights I would drink 3 or 4 glasses and others I would drink twice as much, but it doesn't matter how much I drink, the outcome is still the same. At first I had no idea why it was happening more and more now, however the last time I had a black out it completely clicked why it's happening every time I'm out. As you guys know, recently I have started a new job however I had the interview at the start of the year so I knew it was happening for a while. I made the decision to start taking my medication correctly i.e every single day. Don't get me wrong, I never stopped taking it or missed a day on purpose, I'm just a disaster at remembering to take it. However about a month ago, I decided to work harder at taking it, because I wanted to give myself my best chance to be well for my new journey. Although this particular medication has been in my body for a good while now, it is crazy the different that taking it every day as opposed to 4 days a week makes. I know you are all probably thinking "ah just not drink!" and you are all probably right, but in the past when I have not drank on a night out my anxiety is really bad and I really can't relax. I am aware of everything and everyone that's going on around me, as a result everyone else's drunken antics freak me out, it sounds so stupid but it's how I feel. So I have decided to stay clear of wine based drinks and I have decided to stick to lighter drinks as well as reduce the amount I drink. I'm also going to try to not drink on every night out, because I know it is probably in my head that I feel worse when everyone around me is a little tipsy, baby steps! So for the next few times that I'm out I'm going to take it easy when and see how and what drinks affect me, as well as opting for a coffee instead of a glass of vino now and again! I will keep you all updated on what happens. I am not saying that it is safe or ok to drink while on medication because it really isn't. Some are effected more/ worse than others so please please PLEASE consult your GP before doing so! I'm just sharing my experiences with you all because the way I have felt the past few nights out absolutely terrified me, sending me almost 5 steps backwards, so in a bid to help you guys and to stop you from going backwards too, I'm going to be as honest with you as I possibly can be! I hope this helps in some way and please remember these are just my thoughts and experiences, everyone is different! Love as always, Emma XX
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This is where I share parts of lifestyle which I feel help or hinder my mental health. Archives
January 2018
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