Sometimes the most intelligent and self aware person can't even see that they are hitting rock bottom. Despite all of the books and articles I have read regarding mental health and despite the amount of times I have hit rock bottom I sometimes don't know when I am starting to go backwards or when I need help. This is when my amazing family step in and advise me to go back to basics and encourage me to seek help when needed. Although I knew that I wasn't feeling myself, I had no idea just how bad I was a few years ago. It wasn't until my mam came into town, collected me from work and told me that she had been talking to my dad, they both agreed I needed to get help that I finally saw what they saw. They have been the ones from the very start to helped me to find the courage to seek help. Without them, I honestly don't know where I would be. So I have spoken to my mam, dad, Katie and Mark, the people who live with me and put up with me, the ones who have seen me at my highest and at my lowest, they are the ones who have had to live with someone consumed with and confused by mental health. They are the ones who know this illness and what it can do even more than I do, therefore it is only right that I have asked them to name some of the signs and symptoms for this blog post so that you can identify when you or a loved one are going through some difficult times and may need help. The following signs and symptoms were ones that my family saw in me, it is not to say that if someone has one or more of these traits that they are definitely suffering from mental health illness, however it may be an indicator that this person may need to talk to someone. Everyone is different and that doesn't exclude how mental health effects us individually. Please consult your doctor and do not self diagnose. 5 Signs that you/ a loved one may be suffering from mental health illness:1. Withdrawn from the outside world For those of you who know me well, may know me as a bubbly, fun and chatty person who wouldn't even turn down an invitation to the opening of an envelope! To some extent, this is true however when I am feeling really anxious and depressed, I become a very different person. When I'm feeling low, my family said that I cancel plans with friends and use some silly excuse as to why I can't go. I also avoid social media as much as I can and I even don't reply to people's texts. To be honest this is something I didn't think I did but when they mentioned it I tried to think back to when I last felt really down and realised this is a pattern of mine, to exclude myself from the world. Sometimes I cancel plans or have time to myself because it's healthy to have some alone time however when it gets to a certain point then it is not a healthy trait and you may need to talk to someone about why you are withdrawn from outside the house. 2. Major mood swings When I asked my family to help with this list of signs and symptoms, both my dad and Katie mentioned my mood swings. For as long as I can remember I have had extreme mood swings, which doesn't seem too uncommon for a teenage girl eh? But looking back on all of those tantrums that came out of no where and the extreme hyper moments I believe it is a huge trait of Emotionally unstable Borderline Personality Disorder. I don't believe in labels because I believe you can become fixated with them however I do believe that BPD explains why I can go from 10 minutes of extreme hyperness and laughter to ten minutes of ultimate sadness, depression and at times these ten minutes, when I was at my lowest, had the potential to be harmful and life threatening. 3. Difference in eating patterns Even on a good day, my eating patterns can be a bit up and down. However, when I was at my lowest that I have ever been, I couldn't stop eating which is unusual because for most people because when they are feeling low they lose their appetite, where as for me, it was the total opposite. I never felt full, and I craved sugar. Before I hit rock bottom, I had quite a healthy diet but when I was feeling really low I even started adding sugar in my tea, habits that were very unusual for me. I used to even sneak bar of chocolate, sweets, bread etc., up to my room and just eat until I felt sick. Maybe it was a way of release from feeling so down. Some of these habits can sometimes reappear when I have bad days now, maybe it is comfort or maybe my brain just goes bad to my really low days, what did I do then? For those close to me, this was another big sign that something was up. 4. Lack of sleep Ever since I was a little girl, I would be the first one to go to bed at night and the first to wake up in the morning, I was never one for a lie in. However, when I was at my lowest, I was lucky if I got four hours worth of broken sleep. Of course with a lack of sleep I was exhausted so I started to take naps during the day, which stopped me from sleeping. I would lie awake at night and as a result thoughts were just running around my head, so by the time it was morning, my brain was already fried and that made it harder to get through the day. 5. Loss of my personal identity Anyone who has ever known me, knows that my wardrobe is a thing of wonder. I have an outfit for nearly every style that has ever been out, rock chick, hipster, tom boy, glam etc., you name it I have it because I have always been one to try ANY style. I have always been into fashion, not necessarily follow the latest fashion trends but I was never afraid to wear what I wanted to or to try anything. However, one of the signs that I noticed myself was that I didn't want to wear any of my wonderful clothes. It wasn't as if I had out grown them, I just didn't want to make an effort or put myself out there. Looking back now, I can see it was to do with not wanting to draw attention to myself. I just wanted to blend in with the crowd and not make a statement. This for me was the hardest thing to pick myself out of and to be honest I am still trying to find myself and to feel comfortable with expressing myself through fashion again, something which I always loved doing, it now can be very very difficult. That is why I added a fashion and beauty section to the blog last year, I wanted to try and encourage myself to make an effort and to slightly force myself to get back out there. I wanted to try and make myself wear anything bar Mark's hoodies, my old t-shirts and jeans that were way too big for me. It was something that Mark said to me that made me realise that I was not ok, "You don't look happy anymore, you don't look like Emma." He was right, I looked in the mirror and saw this girl, swamped in clothes that did nothing for her, no jewelry, dirty runners, hair in a pony barely brushed, no make up and most of all no expression. I didn't recognize myself because it wasn't me, and as silly as it may sound it was at this point when I realised something is not right. It can be something as simple as you or a loved one not dressing how they used to or not doing something they used to love but in a dramatic way, that can be the biggest sign of all. They are simply lost, they need your help to find themselves again. So, those are the five signs that really spoke out to my family and made them realise that something was wrong. As I always say, I am not a professional, these are just the signs and traits that myself and my family noticed and what made them take the next step. The way depression effects me can be very different to the way it may effect you, we are all different however these points may help you to recognize similar habits in your loved ones or even in yourself. If you believe that a loved one needs help, below are some services and helplines that you can go to for help.
I hope this has helped at least one of you out there. If you have any questions please don't hesitate to comment below, pm me on Facebook or Twitter or even email me on [email protected] . A big big thank you to my mam, dad, sister, Fiance and my best friend, thanks for all of your support and for looking for help when I needed it the most. Love as always, Em XX Mental Health Services: Pieta House: Ballyfermot: 01-6235606 Lucan: 01-6010000 Tallaght: 01-6200020 Dublin North: 01-8831000 Cork: 021-4341400 Kerry: 066-7163660 Limerick: 061-484444 Roscrea: 0505-22568 Waterford: 051-858510 Samaritans: - 24 Hour Service Call: 116 123 Email: [email protected] Pci College: Low Cost Counselling Service Call: 0818 555 450
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