Despite the heading, this is not a weather report!! Although I would love nothing more than to have glorious sunshine and the rain to live somewhere else for the next two months, I somehow can't see that happening in Ireland! Sure a girl can dream!! I have decided to try to not drink alcohol for the next month, 31 days to be exact!! I started on Sunday (although I was hungover so I don't know if the alcohol had technically left my system by then), making today day 4. Despite that sentence making me sound like I drink 24/7, I only drink once or twice a week, mainly at the weekend leaving me to stay in bed and waste every Sunday. So as I only drink a few times a week if not just once a week why decide to not drink for a month and why am I sharing it with you guys? There is not just one answer, in fact there are many reasons why I decided to stick to the diet coke and soda water on nights out for four weeks. The main two reasons are both health related. The first is my physical health. As I have said many times before I have never been happy with my look in particular my weight. I have never been particularly slim and the scales has never really gone below double figures. It is no secret that I struggle greatly with my weight. Don't get me wrong, there are times I eat rings around myself and there are days were all I do is binge eat on anything I can get my hands on whether it be chocolate, crackers, crisps, pasta, bread you name it I eat my body weight in it. However on the most part I eat healthy food in fact I actually enjoy healthy eating and lately I have fallen in love with some of the Health shops because I love finding new healthy treats to have and new things to put into meals etc. So what is the problem? Every single week I lose weight from Monday to Thursday and then come the weekend I could be eating healthy Friday and Saturday but then drink on Saturday night and between drink, eating burgers and the next day I always put back on the weight I lost the previous days with sometimes an added pound or so! It is getting to the point where my back aches at the start of each week due to the excess weight, that nothing fits me and that I get upset on nights out about my weight, not to mention the following day when photos are uploaded and I look like a beached whale who has managed to eat the equivalent of her friends standing beside her! I know I am sick of listening to myself complain so I don't know how my family, friends and you guys are putting up with me, something has to give! This losing and putting back on weight leads me to the second reason why I am ditching the Cosmopolitans for a month for the Shirley Temples. The excess weight and constant disappointment on the scales is having a negative impact on how I think about and see myself. It is really getting me down and it is certainly not helping my mental health. As we all known, alcohol is a depressant in itself so of course it is going to have a negative impact on our minds and cause us to feel a little bit more down the days that follow the night out, but it has gotten to the point where it is just a vicious circle every single week. For Example, I go out nearly every Saturday night. I usually go out with the intentions not to drink or if I am no shots, no excess drinking and I have all intentions to not drink spirits as they are my worst enemy. What happens? All of the above!! I know it is my own fault there is no denying that, however the fact that there is a huge emphasis on drinking at the weekend and that fun and alcohol go hand in hand doesn't help either!! There have been a handful of times where I have gone out sober where I have had nothing but anxiety and drunken friends surrounding me. That is no one's fault as everyone is entitled to spend their night whatever way they wish, but it just seems like either way I don't help myself or my situation. So why do I think I will be able to stick to a drink free month? I don't think I definitely will, it is just something I am trying mainly as a little experiment. It sounds weird but I know deep deep down that alcohol is not a good mix for me at all. Whether we are talking about my weight, my health, my mind, my anxiety it doesn't help anything and it certainly doesn't help me achieve the list of these I really want to achieve. I think in society, there is a huge emphasis on binge drinking, drinking to become drunk! How do I know? Because I have one to many times drank to become drunk. There is a perception that in order to enjoy your night you have to be completely twisted. I am not saying I will never be drunk in my life ever again but what I am saying is that I am starting to realise that it is this binge drinking, drinking to a point where you don't remember much the next day, that does nothing but creates paranoia, anxiety, sad thoughts, negative energy and in general makes me feel so low that all I want to do is crawl into bed and not come back out. When it is happening every single week so much so that I know Tuesday's are when I begin to feel the effects of the previous weekend in my moods and thoughts, that is a huge problem, one that i really don't need. So, I have decided to keep a note of how I feel each week, to ,monitor my moods, see if there is a change and to see if not having drink every week helps my mental health, and if so to what extent. So I will keep you all updated and I will let you know if I do manage to have an alcohol free month and how my moods are! Talk soon, Love as always, Em X
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This is where I share parts of lifestyle which I feel help or hinder my mental health. Archives
January 2018
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