Hi guys and happy Wednesday!! I hope you are all having a good week!! As promised here is an update on how ditching the alcohol for soft drinks is going! The past two Sunday's I have woken up hangover free, and I have to say it has been a really nice change. Usually when a Sunday comes around, I am absolutely exhausted from both the week and from the night before, between that and the 4 or 5 vodkas (more like 6 or 7) from the night before, sleep is all that I am able for on a Sunday. So it is nice to have more energy than usual and to actually do things on a Sunday and not waste a day! So apart from the physical results due to swapping a glass of vino for a glass of diet coke, have I noticed any other changes in the past two weeks? To be honest, from Tuesday to Friday the first week I felt like I was on an emotional roller coaster ! All it would take was for someone to say hi to me and the gate to a flood of tears would just crash open and all I was left with was a tear stained shirt. When asked what was wrong, why I was so down and why I was so anxious, I couldn't answer, I had no answer, there was simply no straight forward answer. That Thursday I was on edge all day. Every few minutes anxiety would take over, I would have huge tense pains in my chest, making me feel as if there was no oxygen left, as if I couldn't breathe. Once I had control of my breathe again, my head was racing from one thing to another and I just couldn't focus or relax. A similar feeling rolled onto to Friday and my head exploded on Saturday. I couldn't shake off these low emotions nor could I understand why I was so anxious and down. It was only on Saturday night, when I was all snuggled up in my pjs and sipping on my non- alcoholic sparkling wine, that I realised why I was all over the place. Although it was a week since I drank, I started crashing from the hangover on Tuesday and this is when the effects of the drink started to hit me. From then on the effects were stronger, paranoia was a permanent resident in my brain for a few days and it wasn't until Sunday that the effects completely wore off and I was feeling unusually ok. I reckon the lack of drink the first week mean't that both my mind and body were able to experience the complete effects of alcohol, that there was no "re- bound" so that I was able to hit the low that is natural after a big night of drinking followed by a natural level of happiness, peace and relaxation which was not triggered or forced by a few pints on a night out a week later to hide the fact that I was still feeling the effects of the week before. The second week, both myself and Mark noticed a huge difference in my mood. It wasn't that I was much happier but my moods weren't as up and down as they usually are , they were more stable, I seemed more relaxed and I was able to control my emotions and tempers ten times better than any other week. I slept much better and I had even more energy than the first week being drink free! I also noticed that little things that would usually bother me or that would usually make me snap haven't bothered me in the slightest the past week and a half, and it has been so nice to not flip at every little thing and to feel a lot more at ease every day. For two weeks I stayed completely sober, however Sunday evening I was out with friends and there is only so much of non - alcoholic Erdinger you can possibly drink, it is definitely not my favourite alternative to alcoholic drinks, but sadly it was the only one available on Sunday! So I decided to have two bottles of Smirnoff Ice on Sunday night as they don't have a huge volume of alcohol in them. Usually, Smirnoff Ice has no effect on me at all but I have to say, whether it was due to tiredness or hunger, I could actually feel the effects of those two drinks and I really didn't like it. The next night, I was out for dinner with work and I had a glass and a half of wine with my dinner, once again, I didn't feel good drinking it and the next day my head was quite sore. Although I was only off alcohol for two weeks, those two weeks really showed me how much of an effect alcohol can have on our bodies. It also showed me that what is usually the norms for us, our bodies and minds adapt quite quickly and having what would usually be two small drinks would be the equivalent of having a full bottle of wine! Those two days have shown me that I 100% prefer when I am not drinking, and the past two weeks have also proved that I don't need drink to have a good time, in fact I am more myself when I am not drinking. I like actually remembering each night and not panicking the next day. I like being able to get up the next day and not waste a day and most of all I like feeling relaxed and happy! Of course I am not saying I will never drink again but last night for instance I had the option of a glass of vino or a glass of a apple and passion fruit sparkling juice, and lets just say I am happy I chose the sparkling juice! I think I will definitely be drinking less wine and a lot more sparkling juice at least for the next while, I want to give my mind a chance to be happy and to be able to relax and not be over paranoid. For the next few weeks I have a lot of concerts, parties etc., which usually means a mad night on the drink, so I am going to keep you posted, keep an eye on my mood over the next few weeks and I will let you know how if I still manage to swap most of my what would usually be a drunk night out for a sober one!! Talk soon, Love, Em X
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This is where I share parts of lifestyle which I feel help or hinder my mental health. Archives
January 2018
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