For those of us who are constantly fighting and for those of you who don't understand ...10/18/2016 Due to one thing and another ( mainly the internet NOT working in the Greene household!!), this post is about a week later than I would have wanted it to be, better late than never!
You all may be aware that last week was Mental Health awareness week and in particular World Mental Health Day. It, essentially is a day where people from around the world who never talk about Mental Health issues, feel like they eventually can. It is a day where people find a comfort in talking about it using social media and it is a day where many loved ones realise that their son, daughter, niece, nephew, mother, father etc. have been fighting an on-going mental battle with themselves, in many cases alone. It is a day of mixed emotions, relief for those who feel they can finally speak out, grief for those who remember loved ones who felt they couldn't speak out, sadness and worry for those who just discovered that a loved one is suffering and one emotion that was visibly clear last week was love, love for every single person who has, is and will suffer from this demon inside them. I logged onto Facebook last week and all I could see was love and support taking over my news feed, it was so incredible to see and in a sense it is such a shame that it is only one day a year that encourages these emotions. For the past year and four months or so I have talked about my experience with mental health. I have detailed some of the toughest times of both mine and my family's life, I have not held back on any emotions and I have discussed the outcomes of each scenario. Despite what some people think I don't do it to say that I am a "blogger", or to share my personal experiences with everyone so that everyone can know everything about me and pity me. In the words of my crazy yet amazing nana "Certainly not!!" So why do I do it? I do it to help others out there like me, to show the person who can't understand why they are so down and emotional all of the time that they are not alone. To show people that no, it isn't ok to wish you weren't here and although it's not normal, they are not alone and many people have come out on top after hard work and treatment, so much so that they are loving their lives now. I do it to spread awareness on mental health and to hopefully inspire people to try new things in order to help themselves. I do it to help mams, dads, grandparents, siblings, girlfriends, boyfriends, friends etc., who are seeing their loved ones disappearing before their eyes due to this nasty illness. Most of all I do it to show that Mental Health IS A REAL ILLNESS and that the people who go through it need real treatment and not just to be told that they will be ok so get over it. It is an illness just like the thousands of other illnesses that millions of people suffer from every single day, just like those illnesses, these people need love, support and treatment, the only difference is is that Mental Health Illnesses aren't always visible to the eye. That's why this blog was started just over a year ago, to help people see the signs and symptoms that a loved one is suffering, that a loved one isn't well. In recent months I have tried to change the way I write. I have tried to be more positive to help people who are suffering, to tell them to not give up and to show them that things will and can get better. However, although I intend to still remain positive and to post about things that can help you or a loved one, I am not doing myself or others who have, are and may suffer in the future from one of the many mental health illnesses, any justice. It is not an easy journey in fact I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Many people think a few months of counselling and a few yoga sessions will get rid of all of your troubles and you will never suffer again, well you would be wrong to think this. Although these things do help for many people including myself, illnesses like Depression, Bi-polar, OCD, Borderline personality Disorder, Anxiety etc., don't just disappear. For many, including myself, IT IS A DAILY BATTLE AND STRUGGLE. Although I am ten times better than I was this time last year that doesn't mean I don't still have my bad days. There are days I still look in the mirror and break down and cry. There are days I have to stop myself from self-harming. There are days I have to FORCE myself to get out of bed. There are days I have to put on a smile and pretend everything is ok because I know if I breakdown and reveal my true feelings all of the time, my loved ones will lose hope and lets face it if they lose hope, this illness would not just be destroying me, it would destroy them too. There are days I have to remind myself that life IS worth living but despite what I tell myself I can't stop crying and I'm not convinced. Today is one of those days. The difference between me today and me last year, is that today I know it's just ONE bad day, were as last year I was convinced I was going to feel like this for the rest of my life. So if it's not pity that I am looking for why did I write this post? I wrote this in honour for those who have lost their lives to this sickening illness. For those who feel like this every day. For those of you who read this blog every single day because I owe it to you all to be honest because if you are reading this, it may be because you are curious of what I am ranting about now, but I know deep down inside that sadly you may be going through some bad times and you are looking for that light at the end of the tunnel. Although this post is slightly more bleak than usual, I want to stress that the light at the end of the tunnel is that, although I have my ups and downs, every day is NOT a bad day. In fact, 2016 has been the most amazing and memorable year of my life so far and although bad days have been in between these amazing days, those bad days have not stopped me from enjoying the incredible days and times I have had this year. In fact it is those bad days that make the amazing days even better and more memorable. Another reason for this post is to show all of those people who don't believe that mental health issues can be life threatening that despite what you think, there are REAL people in the world who sadly know all too well that mental health illnesses are a REAL THING. These people have REAL feelings, they experience horrible and unimaginable emotions and thoughts all too often. So this post is to simply ask for you to think before you speak, to listen to others, to have respect for people who are going through hell, because that is what these illnesses can bring, it's hell. Despite what people go through, these illnesses make these people stronger than they were before but it doesn't mean that your harsh words and lack of thought for what they are going through don't hurt them! So whether you have gone through hell and back personally or a loved one has, please please share this in a bid to spread awareness on these horrible illnesses. The next time you think you can't cope anymore and want to end your life think of this: I have gone through hell but I have survived and in turn I have had the most amazing 10 months of my life ever, so why can't you? We are all beautiful, brave and strong souls who deserve to live an amazing life so why should we let this monster win? Or the doubters out there? Let's prove them all wrong and show them that yes tough times are ahead but we CAN get through this. Let's talk openly and honestly about mental health, in a bid to spread awareness and to make people aware of the monster that is mental health, maybe sharing our true stories might help people understand what we are going through more or even help them if they ever find themselves having a bad day. Love as always, Em XX
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