HI Guys and happy Saturday! I hope you all enjoyed the Late Late Toy Show last night, both kids and adults! I watched it from start to finish in my Christmas pjs, I'm such a kid! Now that the Toy Show has helped kids ( young and old) complete their Santa list, it's officially Christmas which means it's time for the adults to make their list. Christmas isn't all about giving and receiving gifts. As soppy as it sounds, it is all about spending time with your loved ones and creating new memories, exchanging presents is just an added bonus! Any gift is a thoughtful one, however I love the extra special ones, the ones that truly mean something to you. In order for you to pick out the perfect gift for those who have either had a tough year, who suffer from anxiety, stress or who just need some me time, I've got you covered! All of these gift ideas below each will have a strong meaning to your loved ones and will not break the bank! Lush- Tastic :As you are all aware, I am a MAJOR fan of Lush Cosmetics, especially at Christmas time! The store turns into what can only be described as an elf workshop, gift wrapping everywhere, sparkles covering he floors, bubble bars in the shape of Santa and snowmen, the staff dressed up in costumes as the 25th approaches, it is amazing! However, not only is the atmosphere incredible but the number of products available means that you are guaranteed to pick the perfect gift for someone who deserves some me time, a bit of luxury in the shape of bubbles! There are a wide range of gift sets to choose from starting at as low as just under €10 euros, so that you can find the perfect gift at a good price. Another option, which I think would be ideal for someone who really needs so relaxing time but never treats themselves is if you pick out a knot - wrap. These are basically big scarfs, they each have different designs and pictures on them, they have some Christmas ones. What you do is you pick your products to go into the wrap, as many or as few as you like. The staff are so helpful so if you aren't sure which products would be perfect for your loved ones would like, they will hep you choose the perfect gift! The is perfect for people who need some me time, who love a nice bath or who simply need a bit of pampering! Colouring is not just for kids!!The past couple of months, the practice of Mindfulness has become extremely popular. Every day more and more people are learning about Mindfulness and putting it into practice. When I started reading about mindfulness earlier on this year, no body around me really understood what it was or heard about it before. Now, more and more people practice mindfulness on a day to day basis. The practice has become so popular due to the new adult colouring books! These books this year have become the new craze in Ireland and it is officially acceptable for adults to spend an hour or two colouring their stress away. When these books came out I was extremely curious and I really wanted to buy one, however I never got around to it. A couple of weeks ago I was so down and anxious, everything that usually calmed me down wouldn't work. My boyfriend bought me the Enchanted Forest colouring book, and I now completely understand why people are going crazy for these books! It is the most relaxing and soothing thing when I am feeling anxious. It helps me focus and reduce stress hugely, while bringing a bit of mindfulness into my day! I don't think I would have bought it for myself, but I am so grateful that Mark treated me to it, because it has helped me so much! There are so many versions with so many different themes, pictures and sizes, some would easily fit in your handbag!! They are available in many book shops, ranging from €5 to €20! The book station in the Mill Shopping Centre in Clondalkin have amazing deals on these books, some almost €6 cheaper than other shops!! Although Tubridy dismissed these books in last night's show, trust me these books are definitely the new way to deal with stress and anxiety, and are a really thoughtful gift!!
One present I love at Christmas (or any time) is a piece of jewelry. I think jewelry can be a very personal present, however the next few pieces which I have been given by loved ones are extremely meaningful and beautiful. For my birthday this year my best friend Ciara gave me this gorgeous bracelet. The bracelet is a Loka! bracelet, and it is mean't to help you find your balance. This unique bracelet contains both a black bead and a white one. The black bead reminds us to stay hopeful. It holds mud from the Dead Sea, the lowest point on earth, signifying the difficult moments you experience throughout life. Although you may experience life's lowest moments, you still stay hopeful. The white bead reminds us to stay humble as it carries water from Mount Everest - the highest point on Earth. When you are feeling at your best and on top of the world, it is important to remain humble. The rest of the bracelet is clear. You can purchase this bracelet and many other bracelets for different causes on http://mylokai.com/our-story. Not only will this bracelet remind people to stay balanced and positive, 10% of net profits from the bracelets go to charity, so while you are picking a thoughtful gift for a loved one you are also giving something to charity! Other meaningful and unique pieces of jewelry that provide a positive vibes and an extra special meaning include:
Itty Bitty piece of positivity!Last but not least is the Itty Bitty Book company. I stumbled across this adorable company in this year's Christmas market. A few years ago a friend of mine gave me a tiny book with positive quotes, and I could not find where she got it from for ages. It was on this week when I went to the Christmas Market that I recognized the name! The mantra of the company is spreading positivity, that positive thinking can change the world! Their products include everything from tiny books of strength and motivation, to framed quotes, wall banners, cards etc. all including beautiful quotes! These products are perfect for someone who needs a bit of positive thinking and a sign that you are thinking of them! If you don't get a chance to pop into the Christmas Market to their stall you can shop their products online_.
So there are some of my top gift ideas for loved ones this year who need a bit of positivity and light into their Christmas! Enjoy. Love, Em X
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Since leaving work in March of this year, my eyes have been opened to the harsh reality of how many people in this world see Mental Health issues, as a 'pretend illness' , as an excuse for people who feel a 'little' bit upset or down. Before I left work, although I was aware of my anxiety and depression and I was honest with anyone who asked about my illness, I never really took a moment out of my busy life to try to understand my illness, to try to really come to terms with it. I attended counselling in between going to college and work, I tried to juggle everything around, as a result counselling only helped me to control short term problems, i never realised just how much anxiety and depression had affected my life. Therefore I never realised how negatively mental health is perceived in today's world. Although I had been bullied due to my mental health issues in one of my previous work places, I had been judged by so called friends of mine, I have been told to just 'get over it' and many other horrible things, I never took a minute to realise that all of these horrible situations including the hurtful things that were said to me regarding my anxiety and in particular my depression, although they were said to me, they were not aimed at me. It was not me that these people had a problem with, who they were disgusted with, it was mental health itself. How can people be angry at an illness? There are many reasons. Some people may have lost people to this illness, some people may have witnessed loved ones suffering from this illness, some people may be going through aspects of this illness and they are just afraid of admitting how they truly are, some are frightened to admit that our emotions can really take over and effect us so much, however the reason that shocked me the most was that people act out negatively against mental health because they simply don't understand it. Although it makes some sense, to not understand fully what an illness is capable of, how it works and what it really does to people who are suffering, it is hard to believe that in 2015, there are still so many people ignorant to what mental health illnesses are truly capable of. With all of the research that has been done, the number of celebrities who have used their fame to illustrate just how fatal this illness can be, how much it can take over our lives and the amount of people who are in constant battle with in particular anxiety and depression daily, there are still people out there who think that the term Mental Health Issue, is simply a big medical term for someone who is going through some sad times. Although this is true in some small regards, unfortunately mental health is much more than just feeling sad. I completely understand what it is like to have a love one suffering from something you just don't understand. No matter how much you read up on it, how much you listen to them, you will never truly understand how they feel on the inside, how they are truly affected. I completely understand this and respect this fact so much, as the saying goes "Walk a mile in my shoes" , you never fully understand how rough or bumpy the road is that a person is travelling on until you share the same path as them. However, I would never in my wildest dreams judge someone on something such as a health issue, something I have no experience or knowledge on, as how do I know what they are going through? Although I have had a few daggers to my heart regarding the negative comments I have received regarding mental health, if it really is an illness, I am currently learning how to patch up these wounds people's harsh words have created. I am by no means saying that everyone in the world sees mental health in this negative light, as I have made so many friends over the past year who share the same issues as I do. The amount of you guys who have been so kind and have given me strength to carry on even when my day seemed so dark, cold and alone, and I am so thankful. Although it is a minority of people who speak negative about mental health, these harsh words still hurt and can be fatal. These people don't understand that people who suffer from anxiety, depression, personality disorders, bi-polar disorder, OCD etc. think that they are a lost cause. They have a core belief that they are the cause of all of the problems in the world, that they cause their loved ones pain, heart break and that everyone else's life would be better off if they just disappeared from the world, life would be hassle free for everyone else. What some people don't realise is that people who suffer from mental health don't think like this in order to gain sympathy or as a cry for help, they can't help but feel like this. Although their rational side of their brain reassures them from time to time that they are not this huge burden, the more powerful these negative thoughts become, the less our rational side is listened to, it almost becomes extinct! How do I know this? Not too long ago, I felt like this. I felt like I was a burden, that if I just slipped away everyone else's lives would be easier, less heart ache and less stressful. However, I know now that this is not true at all. That if I was to end my life, it would only cause more devastation and that is the last thing I want. I understand to some degree how people who haven't experienced these feelings may think that no one could ever feel like that, I know because before my condition worsened, I used to look at people around me suffering from depression who talked about suicide like they had ten heads. Why would anyone want to cause their loved ones that awful devastation? How would that solve anyone's problems? Surely nothing is that bad that you would want to end your life? Although I thought I understood how they were feeling, I was simply too afraid and ignorant to try to understand fully. At one point I was angry, why would someone want to do this? I am ashamed to admit this, but it is the truth and it is also how I know others in the world see mental health. As I have been on both sides of this illness, I now understand and know how words and sayings such as "get over it", "nothing can be that bad", "mental health is just an excuse for feeling down" or in the words of Katie Hopkins " Most depression is just genuine sadness at a social situation. Like being caught in torrential rain with a bag from Primark" can affect people with low self esteem and who suffer with mental health issues. Although I am aware that Katie Hopkins is known for her insensitive words and thoughts, and I am by no means saying that other people out there say things to deliberately hurt people, I just know how one cut throat and in many cases thoughtless sayings may push one person over the edge. Just a few months ago when I was at my lowest point, all anyone had to do was look at me the wrong way and my brain would spiral out of control and think the worst. As I have said many times before, I started this blog for multiple reasons, one of those reasons being to spread awareness of how mental health issues truly affect people, to try to eliminate the mindset that anxiety and depression are just people exaggerating feelings of sadness. Mental health is a real illness, it is as real as diabetes, heart disease, etc. Like every other illness out there, once you identify the illness, depending on how ill someone is, treatment begins and you are on a journey to gain your full strength and health once again. It is not much different with someone suffering from a mental health issue, the only difference is that sometimes it is harder to identify the main condition and what type of treatment will work, because in many cases a person shows signs that they are suffering from more than one type of mental health issue. I understand that it is almost impossible to expect everyone in the world to understand what people go through with regards to depression etc., however if this post does one thing I hope it illustrates how important it is for people to be more sensitive to what they are saying, t try to have an open mind and realise that everyone is different, that something that may not affect you may have a huge impact on someone else and that unfortunately this illness can at times allow feelings to control people and be fatal. In my experience I feel that people truly don't understand this illness unless they have been through it, however I hope that by sharing my experiences I can some how shine a light on how mental health issues are real illness and it is a battle millions of people in the world fight everyday! I hope this has helped people understand how anxiety, depression, bi-polar etc, are real illnesses and all people need is some support, love and understanding to get through tough times! I am working on some posts that I hope will help people both understand anxiety and depression and will also give people some tips on how to cope, watch this space! Don't forget share this post to show people you understand mental health and you are there for those who need support, even if it is just a smile, to show them they are not alone! Love, Em X Hi everyone and happy Monday!
I hope you all had a good weekend. Halloween is over and already the Christmas ads are on the TV, advent calendars are on display and soon the Christmas songs will be playing everywhere. I don't know about you, but I will happily sing Christmas Carols for two months straight, after all I am writing this post in my Christmas pjs, 'tis the season' and all that! October was a hectic month for me, although I did enjoy it for the most part between the U Magazine Style awards, friend's and families birthdays and starting yoga, I am quite happy to say goodbye to this hectic month and welcome a new chapter. October was an eye opener for me. When I was on holiday's in September I felt so refreshed and relaxed for the first time in a year, I felt like I was back to the old me. For the first time in a long time, the thought's of crowds didn't scare me, I had a lot of energy and I was eager to go home, but I was eager to get home and start a new chapter. When I was away, I expressed to my family how I thought about going back to work. I was so excited at the idea of going back to being 'normal', to earning and to starting a new chapter in my life. I was so excited that I started looking at jobs while I was away, it felt like the time was right. However being home, away from the relaxing sound of the waves at the beach replaced by lanes of traffic and everyday normal life, my anxiety was back in full swing, which bothered me more than usual. Before I went away, I had learned how to deal with panic attacks, how to let these feelings and emotions happen and to not fight them, they are just feelings and by fighting them you are giving them power over you. However, I was so annoyed with myself for feeling anxious. I couldn't understand how I felt so free on holidays and then when I was home, it was as if a ball of panic hit me and took over my body. I know everyone feels relaxed on holidays and stress free, that is what makes a holiday a holiday, because you have to eventually go back home and face the music of real life. However, I felt a sense of freedom, like a bit of the old me, the more relaxed me was coming back on holidays and surely that should of stayed with me once I was home? Instead of dealing with my anxiety, I was battling it once again. How dare my inner demons ruin this new happiness I found? I pressed on, ignored how I was feeling inside. I applied for jobs, any jobs I didn't care what they were I just wanted to start the next chapter in my life. I ignored my heart, if i had a bad feeling about a job I just ignored this instinct and still applied for it. I don't know about you, but I always follow my instincts because 9 times out of 10, they are right. By applying for any job, I was breaking the promise I made to myself back in April. When I left work, I promised myself that I would do anything to get better, to deal with my anxiety and depression and that I would take no short cuts, I would take as long as I needed to get better. I also promised myself, that when the time was right to go back to work I would be picky and only apply for something that would not be too much for me, something that would not make my anxiety worse. I managed to break all of these promises, as I was determined to get back to work despite the fact that I am still on my journey to get to the bottom of my personality disorder. While applying for jobs, I had an appointment at Clondalkin Mental Health Centre (which I recently posted a blog post on that), I was still attending counselling and I was still trying to understand my personality disorder. All of that alone is a lot to deal with without the added pressure of interviews for jobs that I really didn't want. I went to some interviews, did a trial or two and I had interviews lined up, but all of that came with at a price. I wasn't sleeping at all, my anxiety was getting worse and I was starting to feel extremely beat up. I felt like I was letting my parents down. When I told them I was ready to start looking for a job, they were so proud and happy for me, that I had felt that I had dealt with my demons, but the more I looked for jobs the more I realised I definitely was not ready. I was stressing days before an interview, I couldn't go to the interviews by myself, either my boyfriend or my dad brought me to the interviews, I was petrified of the crowds which lead to panic attacks during my interviews or trials. This was definitely a sign that I was not as ready as I thought I was. My paranoia was uncontrollable, what was the point of going back to work if I was making myself worse? I realised why I felt like I had to go back to work, to keep up appearances. I hate meeting people on the street and they say "so what are you up to? Are you working? Are you still living at home?", the look of pity when I say "No I'm not working due to health reasons and I am still living at home!" I was letting what other's think get to me and force me to get better quicker. What do they know? They don't know what I go through everyday, how it is a struggle to get out of bed and face the world. They don't feel the self hatred I feel on a day to day basis, so why should I justify myself for people who don't matter. Why should I push myself for them? They don't care how i am doing, not really, so why should I care about what they may think. The chances are the minute I say bye to them, they will forget the conversation and carry on with their day, why can't I do the same? Although I am not 100% ready to go back to work, I am ready to move to the next chapter of my life and do something. I wasn't sure how else I could move on other than look for a job, however I discovered the CE Scheme. The Community Employment Scheme, is for people who are unemployed for a long time and for other disadvantaged people, to allow them to get back to work. The CE scheme offers part-time and temporary work in jobs in local communities. I can apply for the CE scheme as I am receiving the Illness Benefit for over 6 months. When I realised I was qualified for the scheme, I was delighted as I feel this is exactly what I need. Hopefully it will help me get back on my feet and back into the world of work but in a way that is ideal for someone who has been out of work for a while. I met my case officer and i have applied for one or two schemes so far that I would be really interested in. When I left school over four years ago, I really thought I would be sorted by now. That I would have the perfect job or I would be travelling the world. Although I am not where I thought I would be, I am getting to a place where I can see myself being happy, and that is ok with me. I miss being happy, feeling safe in myself and feeling confident, but this past month has taught me that I am the only one who knows how I am, what I am capable of and what makes me happy, and once I listen to myself I will soon be on the right track. Now it is a waiting game as I wait to hear from the schemes I applied for, but I am looking forward to my new adventure, but I have learned the hard way that all good things come to those to wait, by rushing things and trying to make things happen before they are mean't to, I will undo all of my hard work over the past 7 months and I will be back to square one, anxious and depressed. So I am waving goodbye to a stressful yet eye opening month of October and I am welcoming November with open arms as I can't wait to see what will happen next. I cant wait to see what this adventure brings! I have never been patient, but I am learning to trust myself and what is mean't for me won't pass me by! Love Em X |
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April 2018
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