Hi Everyone, Well it's been a long time since I have written a blog post, before Christmas was the last time to be exact! It's a bit too late (just a little bit!) to say Happy new Year so instead, I hope you are all well and that 2017 has been good to you all so far! So where have I been hiding and what's been going on? My New Year's resolution was to get back to myself, and that's exactly what I have been doing since Christmas, but what does that actually mean? Last year, as you all know was a big year for me. I got accepted on a CE Sheme which mean't I could get back into work. As a result, I found a job I absolutely love doing, that I am good at and that has helped build my confidence back up. It wasn't easy at first, I was terrified getting the bus into work, I couldn't give a tour without having a panic attack and I wasn't sleeping due to stress and worry around the job. To top things off, I wasn't in the museum long when I was put onto a course, which was a lot for me, going from not working to study and work. I never thought I was going to stick it out, I really wanted to give up, but that would have been going backwards, and I was not prepared to do that. One month later my life changed again as Mark asked me to marry him, within a week we had (almost) everything picked out and booked, it was a whirlwind but I wouldn't change it for the world. As the year went on, I had more good days than bad days, I was able to recognize when my mood was low and I knew exactly what I needed to do to prevent it from escalating into something bigger. During the summer I conquered more fears and went to concerts were the crowds would usually send me running, but I was in control and didn't let anything stop me. As the year came to a close, I finally got to do something that my illness had prevented be to do previously, which was to travel. Myself and Karma went to the land of Brussels to visit Emma, not to mention where chocolate and smurfs are both from. A week later, myself and Mark went to Amsterdam which rounded off what was overall a life changing year. Yes there were difficult times and times were my depression and anxiety were at a high but I got through it and that's all that matters. Since last November, my foot hasn't lifted from the pedal. I can honestly say, I haven't had five minutes to myself since the end of last year has started. This year has sort of started the same as last year, just on a much larger scale. I have been offered a new job, one which since I started the museum I knew I would love. I also got accepted as a volunteer Tour Guide for the New Clondalkin Round Tower Visitor Centre and I am already half way through the course for it. At the start of the year I promised myself that I would go back to weight watchers ( for the last time), lose weight and exercise more. This is something which I threw myself into and I'm so happy that I did. To top things off wedding preparations are well under way and the countdown is officially on. Although I am extremely busy, things are going really well, and I finally feel like I am back to who I used to be almost five years ago. I have rediscovered my love for swimming and Zumba, although I've only managed to go to two Zumba classes, I have remembered how much I love dancing and most importantly how happy it makes me. I have also rediscovered something which I thought was forever gone, and that's my confidence. Although losing weight and getting fit plays a big part in this, I am more confident in myself mentally. I no longer feel like my personality is something I should be ashamed of or change, in fact recently I have realised that I am lucky to have it! It is a blessing, it's who I am and most of all it makes me unique, it would be boring if everyone acted and felt the same, so why try to change who you are? I'm not saying my confidence level is 10 out of 10, at the moment it's at a 5, which is five times more than it was this time last year. I still have down days and days, like today, where I am anxious, but I just look at how far I have come since this time last year, and it makes me feel happy, proud and excited to see where I will be this time next year. So that's what I've been up to, I promise not to stay too quiet in the upcoming weeks and as always, I hope you are all doing ok. Remember, today might not be the day you achieve your goals, but it can be the day you decide to start to work towards them. Love as always, Em xxx
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
What is this page?
This page is to keep you all up to date on where I am on my journey, what I am up to and general chat! Archives
April 2018
Categories |