Hi everyone, Hope you all had a good weekend! Did any of you have the amazing opportunity to see Ed Sheeran live I'm Croke Park. I was lucky enough to see the adorable Ed! He Was unbelievable, an unforgettable experience! Mark bought me the tickets as a birthday Present (a very early birthday present). We have the tickets months and of course I was so excited when we booked the tickets and I was really looking forward to it, but the closer it got to the date, I couldn't sleep with the thoughts of the crowds for days coming up to the concert. I was so nervous but there was no way I was missing this concert. I used to love concerts! I would go to see post man pat sing at concert if I could! I loved the feeling you get when the beats of the speakers make the floor tremble and hit your body like a surge of electricity. I always tried to see at least three concerts a year, I loved the craziness and the crowds. I always tried to get standing tickets, the more immersed in the crowd the better. However now, the further away from the stage the better. At the time we booked the tickets I wasn't feeling great so we made sure to book seating, thank god we did, otherwise I really don't think I would of last the entire concert. My mam, sister and her friend went to the gig too. They had different seats they weren't too far from us so we made plans to have food together first and drinks then make our way in. The crowds heading in weren't too bad. I mean it was busy but you had room to move on the paths and you could breath. Even when we got there I was still relaxed. We headed to the bar and then to our seats, once we were seated I felt safe. Ed Sheeran was incredible! I can't get over the amount of talent one man can have! He just seems so genuine and so humble which showed as he let Kodaline's Jason Boland propose to his girlfriend Etaoin Corr live on stage ( any girl's dream come through). He just wants to touch people with his music and make people happy, which he does flawlessly. The atmosphere was electric and even with the 82,000 people there, I felt so safe and like the concert was just for me, that is how special Ed Sheeran is! When his encore was finished, which included the hit song 'Sing', that's when the mayhem started. It took myself and Mark a half an hour to gt out of the stadium. There were just people everywhere!! We were sitting eight rows up from the pitch so we tried to make our way down there, I was really panicking at this stage. Mark was a brilliant help. He explained to the security what was going on and they let us out onto the pitch. It was a little less hectic on the pitch at this stage as loads of people had already started to make their way out of the stadium. By the time we left the stadium, I thought the crowds would have calmed down but they were twice as bad as what they had been earlier. My chest got so tight and I did have a panic attack. We sat along a wall for a while and I started to do some mindfulness techniques. I became aware of my breathing and soon I noticed I started to calm down. As we started walking again, I tried to think mindfully. I watched the people around me and listened to the sound of the crowds. I didn't analyse them, I just observed and was mindfully aware of what was happening around me. We finally got out of the crazy crowds and met the others at The Living Room in town. The next task was getting home, which proved difficult enough. The ques for the luas were four times the length of the Luas platform and there were no big taxis available. We finally made our way to Central Bank and got the bus home. Although I did have a panic attack and to be honest I haven't really slept that well since Saturday, I am so proud of what I accomplished on Saturday. If the concert was two months ago I wouldn't of even have made it to Croke park never mind being able to stay at the entire concert. Although I still have issues with crowds, Saturday was a big step for me and it showed me that although I probably am not ready to go back to work just yet and cope with stress and crowds on a daily basis, I am getting stronger each day. Every obstacle thrown my way I can get through it. I definitely would not have been able to get through the crowds on Saturday if it wasn't for Mark, my mam and the girls, but one day soon I know I will be able to get through it myself. Everyday I am getting stronger and the fear inside me is weakening, Em X
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April 2018
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