It's the 1st of August and with a fresh month comes a fresh start which means a big clear out is about to happen in my house. By this, I don't mean the typical clean out your wardrobes and bin all of your old clothes clear out, its time for a mind clear out! Why is it that we focus on the negatives about ourselves? Whether it is our looks, what we are wearing, the way we speak, what we say, our thoughts, the way we do things, whatever it may be we are quick to judge our own downfalls and mistakes, but the last one to pat ourselves on the back. For me, I am my worst critic. I always point out my own negatives and I am never kind to myself. I blame myself for everything that goes wrong in my life and I tell myself I am going to fail at a task before I even do it. When I started back counselling earlier this year, the first question I was asked was how do I feel about myself? My answer shocked both myself and my counselor, I loathed myself. I always knew I didn't like myself and I always wanted to change who I was, but to hear the words come out of my mouth, it shocked me. During counselling, we explored the reasons behind my self-loathing, to my surprise it had stemmed from a very long time ago. I thought that it was just a case of changing my opinion on my self and suddenly love myself, but the thought of loving myself seemed crazy and selfish to me. It turns out in order to love yourself you have to understand yourself a lot better, why you hate yourself, what triggers these feelings and how can you change your feelings towards yourself. It is a journey I am still going through. I have learnt a lot more about myself in the past 4 months than I have in 21 years. So for the month of August I am asking you to look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself how much do you actually know about yourself. I know it sounds crazy, you are your own person so how could you not know yourself? You will be surprised how many of us would rather skip getting to know ourselves and would rather learn more about another person.So as you are looking in the mirror, what thought comes into your head about yourself first? If it is negative like I don't look nice today, take that thought and ask yourself why do I not look nice today? Who said I don't? Break that sentence down again, did you pick out what you are wearing? Why did you pick it out? 9 times out of ten you will be surprised with the answer, it is more than likely I bought this for me and I picked it out because I like it. However we automatically knock ourselves down when asked about how me look. Now look at yourself again and change that first thought, For example: I picked out this top because I like the colour on me. How better does that thought make you feel compared to the original thought? I know it sounds like a silly exercise, but trust me by doing this once a day you will be surprised how powerful this exercise is to change your opinion of yourself. Each time try to let a different thought pop into your head and break it down like what how you did with the thought about how you looked. So think of August as a clear out of these negative thoughts, I will update you with how I am getting on and with other tips and tricks. The key to feeling loved is that you have to learn how to love yourself first! Hello August!! Em X
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This page is to keep you all up to date on where I am on my journey, what I am up to and general chat! Archives
April 2018
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