This week, I am tackling one of the demons that I feel is the only thing that still has the ability to spark up my anxiety tendencies at any time, if I let it. That demon is what I refer to it as, my fear of living in the moment. For as long as I can remember, I have never ever liked not knowing what has or what will happen and I especially didn't like missing out, on anything. As a kid, when I was given the option to stay in a friend's house, I always jumped at the chance to spend some time with my friend whether it was painting our nails or eating way too much junk food. However about 5 minutes after I accepted the invite, the fear part of my brain would immediately kick in and I would start to regret my decision, why? It was nothing to do with being nervous in a friend's house or missing my parents, I am definitely not a home bird, I never have been. It was the fear of not knowing what was going on at home or on missing out on something at home, that was what I didn't like. Once I got over that thought and went to the sleep over, if I came home to the news that my family did something fun without me I would not be happy, it would actually ruin the sleepover I just had and I would dread any time I stayed away from home for that reason alone, "what will happen the next time I am not here?". As I'm writing about this and listening to myself I know it can come across as if I was just acting like a spoiled child, and to a certain extent you are probably right, but as I look back on my anxiety and how it has been over the past two years, I can actually see that there is a pattern in my anxiety which has been recurring since I was that little girl fearing what I would miss out. I am not saying that my anxiety over the past two years is due to me fearing on what I have or could possibly miss out on, because that would be the time that you all shout at the laptop screen and say Emma get a life! The older I have gotten, naturally the deeper my thoughts and indeed my anxieties in general have become. Of course I am not anxious about what others are doing without me, however it is the same idea, that I can not enjoy the moment that I am in that is the same pattern I am talking about. I am constantly worrying, worrying about the past, what has been, what should have been or what could have been or my brain is fast forwarding to the future, sometimes as far in advance as 10 years from now, worrying what might happen, instead of enjoying what is happening right now, right this second. Of course I am not the only one in the world who thinks like this, I think it is fair to say that most people let their brains run away with themselves from time to time, however it is the people, like myself, who let this chatter in our brains take over to the extent that we don't give ourselves a moment to stop thinking and to just be, to just live and enjoy life that really need to change the way we think and live, because life is too short to not enjoy every single second, instead we are letting life pass us by and at the end of the day, the only person missing out is ourselves. As so many people experience this on a day to day basis this is why I feel it is so important to share my story with you guys, to let you all in on my journey to try to train my brain to give myself a minute, to not jump to conclusions every single second and to try and allow myself to find some sort of peace because at the end of the day it isn't healthy for someone to be living on a maximum of 5 to 6 hours broken sleep or someone who is fretting about how they will afford something in two years time. So I'm hoping, that by sharing my story with you guys and the journey that I am still very much on, that you guys can take something away from it and hopefully find something useful to prevent your anxiety from getting worse and hopefully learn how to train your brain to give yourself a minute to meditate or to even enjoy that first cup of coffee in the morning without worrying about tonight's dinner. As anxiety and worry is such a huge area and one I feel that many people can and will relate to, I have decided that one week isn't enough to fully cover this topic. Over the next few weeks, I am going to blog about living in the moment, why it is important to live in the moment, how not living in the moment can cause huge levels of stress and most of all how we can tackle different aspects of our day to day lives in order reach a more calm and peaceful way of living and thinking in mundane areas such as sleeping, eating, exercising and even traveling to work in order to actually enjoy every part of our lives and to not let stress, worry and anxiety of the past, future and the unknown dictate our lives. So guys, as this is a such a big area that affects so many people and really can lead to terrible anxiety attacks and even other mental health issues such as OCD and Depression, please let me know if there are any areas you want me to talk about or if there are any questions you have on how to reduce your anxiety, on how to live in the moment. You can let me know my either commenting below, sending my a private message on Facebook at holdonthepainends or feel free to email me at [email protected]. Remember, this blog was set up not only to help me but to help you all get through life, even the most boring and mundane tasks, because lets face it, those are the ones that are important because they play a big part in our lives. So until the next blog post, just remember, tomorrow isn't here yet so you can live it when it arrives, but as for today you only have one chance to make the most of it. Love as always, Em X
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This page is to keep you all up to date on where I am on my journey, what I am up to and general chat! Archives
April 2018
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