Hi Guys,
This week has been a whirlwind of emotions for me. On Monday and Tuesday I started the TEFL Teaching English course. This course is something I have been looking to do for a very long time and just a month ago I booked myself into the course. By Sunday night I was an absolute wreck. I was terrified of commuting to and from town for the two days. I was having panic attacks at the thoughts of the crowds and the course, whether I would be able for the course or not, at one point I really did not think I was going to go to the course. I was so upset and so angry that I felt like this again. I was annoyed at myself for getting so upset, I was determined that I was not going to let my anxiety win this time. I took out my Mindfulness book and read up on some techniques and tips for commuting(I have shared some of the tips which I found helpful while on the Luas in the Mindfulness section). Although I took note of the tips and practiced mindfulness breathing before I went to bed, I still didn't have the best sleep. The weather on Monday morning didn't help as for those of you who forgot or were lucky enough to miss the wind and rainstorms, I had to force myself out of my bed. I got the luas into town, at first I was so overwhelmed with the crowds. I was really tempted to get off at the second stop and just go back home, my heart was beating so fast but I was so determined. Before I knew it, I was at my stop at Georges Dock. I couldn't wait for the day to be over, I was so nervous. However my Mindfulness book really did help me. Any time that I felt nervous or anxious I allowed myself to feel those emotions and then focused on my breathing and on telling myself over and over again that I was ok. The course threw a lot of hurdles at me that three weeks ago I would never have gotten through them. I had to complete two teaching practices, one for three minutes on Monday and and the other for five minutes on Tuesday by myself in front the other students. It was not until Tuesday night when i was home with my TEFL certificate in hand, that I realised how many fears I had overcome in just the two days. I was so proud of myself, I felt like I had knocked down so many demons that had been haunting me since April. I received amazing feedback from my tutor, one including that I was extremely confident in front of the classroom. I haven't believed in myself in a very long time, but the fact that I hid my insecurities and received amazing comments from my tutor, showed me that I am getting stronger every day and that every obstacle that comes my way I can over come. I am so proud of myself as it has showed me that I have come a long way and that I can beat my anxiety and mental healthy issues. It has taken me a long time to gain the strength to overcome those fears but I know that from now on I am going to get even stronger and I will be able to face anything. Em x
1 Comment
m
7/10/2015 04:53:28 pm
I am soooo proud of you. I knew you had the strength to not only make it in to the course but to excel. You should be extremely proud of how far you have come
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